Friday, 17 July 2015

Slander, on Hunter!

The Testing of Archie Rathbone - FREE on Amazon, Day 1 of 5

It’s me again – G. Slander Esquire (Literary Agent and Publicist to the despised Alex Hunter).

In a half-hearted though necessary attempt to promote my employer’s worthless book (apparently and inexplicably, a prerequisite for my being paid), I suppose I’d better point out that his novel (The Testing of Archie Rathbone) is free today (day one of five) on Amazon.

A doubtless wise person once said, “A fool and his money are easily parted”. Leaving aside the implication (by omission at least) that this is a flaw that doesn’t afflict women, I’m pleased to be able to put at ease those amongst you whom my employer has conned, or is in danger of conning into downloading his loathsome novel over this five day period – as it’s free, you’re in the clear!

I had a meeting with Hunter yesterday, (one in which he politely explained that I wouldn’t get a penny from him unless, as he put it, ‘I get up off my lazy a#se and earn it’). He was keen to consult me on various matters relating to his publication – did I think the blurb could be improved, would there be any merit in redesigning the cover, how did I think he could add value to his great work of fiction? I did make one suggestion – that if he really wanted the general public to see the true value of his work then he should have it printed instead of taking the ebook approach, preferably on a roll of strong but absorbent paper with perforations. Unfortunately, at this point I was obliged to beat a hasty retreat…

Gerald Slander

Thursday, 16 July 2015

Introducing Gerald Slander Esquire

The Testing of Archie Rathbone - free for 5 days

Gerald Slander here - Alex Hunter's entirely unappreciated (and so far, unpaid) agent and publicist!

Due to some minor contractual small-print, it transpires that if I want him to pay me then I am actually obliged to represent my client in some way! When I can afford one, I shall of course employ my own legal representative to challenge this iniquity... in the meantime however...

Well, anyway, rumour has it that the school holidays will soon be upon us. These are testing times, (ironic really, as for many teenagers they follow a time of testing!), and parents are faced with the challenge of how best to fill the yawning chasm that stretches out before their loved ones. Well, whatever Hunter might like to think, I'm not going to pretend that either he or Archie Rathbone are the answer to those parental prayers. Nevertheless, as he (Hunter) has decided to give his book away (details below), at least it won't cost you anything! So, if you or your beloved offspring find yourselves at a loose end over the Summer then you might like to give his blasted book a try (though please note, I won't be held responsible for its quality). Once you've read it, please send your letters of complaint to his Cayman Islands address.

The Testing of Archie Rathbone, by Alex Hunter

Free on Amazon, Friday 17th July to Tuesday 21st July

Saturday, 4 January 2014

Amazon Promotion - Day 2

The Testing of Archie Rathbone - Second day, free on Amazon.

I notice that Amazon has reclassified TTOAR as 'Sword & Sorcery' - it's an interesting slant on the problems I had when trying to decide on a genre for the book last year. It's probably closer to the truth than any of the categories previously available, but this highlights the difficulty of deciding on how to label your writing if it doesn't easily fit in with someone else's preconceptions.

Have you had a similar problem with your writing?

What did you do about it?

Anyone who's read TTOAR - how would you describe it - under which genre would you categorise it?

Last day free tomorrow!

Thursday, 2 January 2014

Amazon Promotion

The first time since December 2012 - The Testing of Archie Rathbone will be free on Amazon from tomorrow (Friday 3rd January) to Sunday (5th January).

Happy New Year everyone.

Monday, 30 September 2013

"The Pun"

Another drabble - I know I shouldn't have but i couldn't resist it. To those of you of a sensitive disposition, I apologise for this, unreservedly...

"The Pun”

The soft card of the cover creased and wrinkled as he reticulated it, flexing the pages of the book. Page forty-seven stared back at him defiantly, blotchy Royal Blue ink filling the printed grid. Only two down remained unpopulated. He scratched his head, concentration intense, peering through the steam from his recently made mug of tea. He tried to look nonchalant, unaware that he was failing. “Formal dancing event, undecorated”, four and four. Blank, blank, blank, B, and B, blank, blank, blank. He’d tried everything, but nothing would fit – nothing. But then, inspiration! Of course – it was obvious – Drab Ball!

Saturday, 28 September 2013

A Dribble of Drabbles...

Almost exactly a year ago I joined the excellent Kindle Users Forum. This coincided with the start of a thread inviting contributions of stories of exactly one hundred words (a one hundred word story is, apparently, a Drabble!). It's an interesting idea and has resulted in some really creative and widely varying interpretations, but I thought I might reproduce the two I've contributed to date:

"Darkness" (9th September 2012)

No room to move.
A sharp rattling sound and we all jump, startled.
A dry, grating, sliding - we are all exposed, naked, the pale glow slowly pouring in.
Pick me! Pick me!
Searching fingers grasp in the half light and find me. Yes!
I am dragged from my prison - no more than a box. It closes behind me.
Strong fingers grip me and I feel the pressure as my head is pushed against the wall. I am dragged - it rasps loudly, and then such exhilaration - a splutter, and with a phosphorous burst I cast aside the shadows... but I am consumed.

"Three Seconds"  (27th September 2013)

I'm sure this is the way. Yes, must be - no doubt about it.
Oh, look at that castle! I'll remember that if I come this way again.
What's he doing here, dressed in a suit and helmet? Perhaps if I don't make eye contact I can pretend I haven't seen him... Phew!
Now where do I go? Yes, this must be it - past the greenery and shells and the treasure chest.
Now where?
I'm sure this is the way. Yes, must be - no doubt about it.
Oh, look at that castle! I'll remember that if I come this way again.

Friday, 14 December 2012

Free - Last Chance

Well, in case you're stuck for a last minute present for a Kindle-owning friend, The Testing of Archie Rathbone is free to download from Amazon, today and tomorrow (December 14th and 15th).

This will probably be the last chance to get it free for quite a while, as I've decided not to renew my KDP Select enrollment (something you have to do before Amazon will let you give your book away), but this way I'll be free to publish in other formats (another one of Amazon's conditions).

As and when I make my book available in other formats, I'll post the information here and on my facebook page. In the meantime, I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas.